A Fatal Addiction

Ethan had Brit seek out a selection of books. He paged through several before selecting one that seemed very old. Handing it to her, he asked that she read it when she woke before him. She took the book, excitedly at first. Quick inspection revealed her greatest fear: There were no pictures anywhere to be found. Additionally, the small print faded with time caused her to dread reading it. Try as she may, Brit could never understand why someone would make a book without many pictures or how others could read them. “Begin at page 180,” Ethan had said.

As her husband lay resting, Brit dutifully opened the book and stared at the page. She mouthed the words silently before reading them out loud twice: Once to simply say the words and the second time to attempt to comprehend them. Reading was hard enough on its own. Without the pictures, it was nearly impossible for her. She picked up a sketchbook and made sketches of paragraphs and then studied them as she tried to understand.

The first picture drawn was of a girl who was on a subway. A yellow-eyed, classic-looking vampire was pouring blood from a partially severed tongue in to her mouth. Written beside the flowing blood were the words “molasses-like” and “bitter.” Brit made big red X’s over a word and picture. A second picture showed a beautiful embraced Brit with her husband. Next to the picture were the words “molasses-like” and “metallic.” An arrow led from this picture to the next one.

The third picture showed Brit skipping rope. The rope cannot be seen and she is jumping much higher than one would normally. Beneath the picture, Brit wrote “ageless, stronger, better.” Like spokes of a wheel, Brit drew more pictures and wrote other short annotations. She had red question mark next to ‘ageless’ and large X’s over the words ‘slave, domitor, and blood bond.’ The words had no meaning to her. She traced them with her finger in hopes of gleaning understanding. Never before had she felt so slow. It was frustrating. She wrote another word from the book: Ghoul.

If not for the fact Ethan had asked her to read it, she would have stopped. The book was so hard for her to read. Each sentence had to be read over and over again and, even after drawing pictures to try to explain it, it did not paint a pretty image. “All it takes to push you over the edge is a single drop of blood.” She wrote it on her sketchbook and stared at it. She read more, “You hunger, you thirst, you bleed. You are not quite human anymore. You can frenzy at any moment.” Brit processed slowly and her eyes widened at the meaning. Using her necklace, she punctured her wrist and watched the bright crimson pool while she held her breath. The dark blood looked pretty on her skin and slowly oozed down her wrist. Involuntary reactions caused her to take a huge gasp of air as she waited for her frenzy to start while damming the blood drip with a finger. Her wound started to slowly close as she rubbed the blood drop on Ethan’s mouth. As it was absorbed, she figured she may frenzy later and wrote, “I’m going to frenzy soon” on the edge of her paper to warn him.

Brit poked herself repeatedly with her fingertip and wrote, “I feel human, I guess.” She shrugged and read more. Blinking, she realized that it meant that a vampire’s blood would cause her to frenzy. With a slight puff to her cheeks, she looked at Ethan so peacefully resting and picked up his hand. Using her necklace she poked his finger and waited. A small drop of blood appeared. She waited for her frenzy to begin while tapping her feet together. His finger healed rapidly and she pursed her lips. His blood reabsorbed into his body. With a soft sigh, she flipped the page hoping that she did not frenzy when someone was there to play or talk with them. She underlined her warning to him about the inevitable frenzy.

Turning the pages, she read a paragraph about a person saying how horrible the addiction was. Another flip of the page was a testimonial of another who had been abandoned by a kindred and could not leave his home. The book yielded page after page of unhappiness, desperation, and misery all due to vampires. Brit closed the book with a hard thud and stared at Ethan. Why would he ask her to read something so upsetting? The title was Ghouls: The Fatal Addiction.

Picking up her sketchpad, she drew a picture of Ethan drinking from her. The night seemed magical in that the twinkling stars, which were so bright and shimmering, caused the sky to be as bright as daytime after she used her special ink. Images moved on the page showing Ethan opening his wrist for her to drink. Brit smiled as the image looped the intimate scene allowing her to watch it. “I love sharing. It makes me better…but…I love sharing…because I love you,” she whispered. She set aside the book and watched him resting just as she had when he was in torpor. Her fingers touched him lightly as she thought of that time when he first was hers alone, but not yet a beloved or her husband. With a smile, she compared their rings feeling warm over the changes a year had brought. He was still hers alone and now she was his.

Brit picked up the sketchpad again to look over what she had drawn and written. She got her red crayon and made X’s over the words ‘slave, domitor, and blood bond.” Beneath the X’ed words, she wrote ‘wife, husband, and love.’ Under the word ‘ghoul’ she wrote, ‘beloveds.’ She set the sketchpad up so Ethan would see it when he woke. Rolling to lie half on him, she said, “Books without pictures are terrible, Ethan.” She kissed his lips before laying her head on his chest and tracing his lips with her finger. Perhaps she would sleep more, she thought. As she felt herself start to fall asleep, she raised her head again to look at him. “Don’t be mad when I frenzy. The book says it is not my fault.” Nodding, she adjusts the position of the sketchbook and snuggles up for an afternoon nap.

((Picture by Gweneth Lange))