Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Believe in Yourself


Pride is the mother of all sins. It’s the thin line between righteousness and self-righteous, the excessive belief in one’s own abilities that interferes with the individual’s recognition of the greatness of God. It’s been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity. The punishment for Pride in Hell will be that the offender will be broken on the wheel. So knowing this, explain why that, even today, some well-meaning teacher is saying, “Believe in yourself.” So much for learning from history.

{The following is from a roleplay involving many. I pulled heavily from the logs. Thanks to those of you who participated.}

Brit did not remember how long she sat in the room with her hand on Ethan. She was lost. Selene and Steve heard her silence and came. Brit’s numbness continued and told them, “No one has energy for so much rage.” Steve told her that there was much work to be done, and that she would have to journey with him and be brave. Time passed. Intruders where two went and one, Brid, stayed. Lorne was there, and Selene and Steve were back. More came. First Merma, then Nikita, and then Gweneth. Others came to the door but were kept from entering by Kishi. Despite personal differences, all were there to support. To assist. Taking Steve’s offered hand, Brit saw the line from Ethan beyond the walls. Like a mother bundling her child in a sweater, Nikita had her hold her necklace before following the line with Steve.

As they reached into Ethan’s mind, they encountered an elaborate labyrinth leading up to a central location. The edges seemed to reach in to the sky in a post-apocalyptic setting. Devils were flying about as angels dived down from the heavens. One central gate made of skulls lead to the start of the labyrinth. Steven told Brit to call to Ethan. She called out, but there was no response. He encouraged her to follow. Far in a distance, she could hear the mingled voices of those left in the room behind. The gate started to grow, but they passed through it. Brit later would not remember how, but she remembered clearly how Steve kept cursed when they both saw the path behind them crumble to lava.

Beyond the gate, there were three entrances. One guarded by an angel. One by a devil and one by a small shape with its back turned to them. More songs in the back calming even though terrifying sounds seemed to mingle within them. Nikita whispered for Brit to choose and Steve touched the doors. Brit touched the small figure gently. The angel and devil did not move, but the small shape turned. It was a blind, little girl dressed in tatters of a court gown. Wind started to blow as she asked, “What do you want?” A tiara laid nearby. Brit whispered, “Ethan. I want him to come home. Where is he?” The girl smirked and turned away from Brit and Steve saying, “He’s not talking to me. Again. That self-righteous bastard. He will rot in this abyss forever like I had to.” Then she asked them, “Want to see?” Both nodded to the girl who pointed down the path. Brit and Steve started in the direction she indicated after Brit wiped the tiara clean and placed it on the girl’s head.

Once they crossed into the labyrinth, the wind stopped. Steve and Brit found themselves in the middle of a battle. Warriors with scimitars and horned figures were commanding troops. Those fighting were slaughtering without thought of mercy. Steve recognized the area to be Constantinople with its wall around the city. On the other side of the city wall, a pillar of light can be seen. And part of the wall seemed to be missing though no one but Steve and Brit noticed. Steve cautioned Brit to not attract attention. She covered her ears and closed her eyes feeling herself falter slightly. Steve grabbed her wrist and pulled her through the wall. Singing increased and they found themselves in the city with the wall solid behind them. The shouts and cries from the battle raging seemed to grow louder too.

Cries of defeat can be heard throughout the city. Chaos and gloom surround the beautiful walls. Some are shouting that they cannot save or protect the helpless anymore. That everything is lost and no one is safe. General panic runs through the city and directly in front of Steve and Brit a warrior dressed in elite armor crosses himself three times and whispers, “I failed.” With that, the paladin falls on his own sword condemning himself for eternity as punishment for his shortcomings. Brit was terrified they were too late, but Steve noticed the light behind the fallen warrior. He told her, “Hurry. Soon we will be in big trouble.” Both rushed toward the pillar. Songs, sad, sweet and beautiful, could be heard louder.

It was then that they saw him. Ethan, looking younger than she remembered and not at all pale, was hovering in the pillar of light dressed like a priest of the city. The sounds of battle grew distant and the chanting of a chorus of religious songs seemed to come out of the Hagia Sophia. Brit touched the pillar which was only light. She clasped his hands and whispered, “Ethan….come home.” His eyes opened and he hovered a bit lower. His physical form opened his eyes as he did when looking to Brit. “Princess.” He looked to Steve for a moment before returning his attention to her. “I failed you.”

She held his hands tightly. “No,” she whispered. Blinking slowly, she started to process thoughts again remembering Nikita’s words. “Only if you give up, Ethan.” Her lip started to tremble as she struggled to find the words to explain to him. “Only if you do not come home. Beloveds do not hurt each other. It will only hurt if you do not come home. You promised.” He did not respond.

The paladin appeared to one side without his helmet. It was Ethan a few years older. Much like he looked prior to her burning. Then the vision of him as he had been on his quest for revenge covered in rage and hate. Ethan replied serenely, “But he fell. And you were left unprotected. He should not have left you that way.”

Brit looked at the paladin Ethan and the blood-thirsting Ethan. Then back to the version that spoke. Her hands never let go of his. “Ethan.” Her voice was soft. “You only failed yourself. It mattered not to me. I do not remember and you can only fail me now. You promised! You said beloveds do not hurt each other.” She continued to watch him ignoring the warrior or the blood-thirster. She could not sense Steve though she knew he was there.

Lorne focused calming energies in the room, and Selene watched over all. Steve spoke in a soft voice, “Ethan. Remember your job is not done. You made a promise and the preacher brought your beloved so that you can see what its worth. So come, you lost soul, and take the place you should never have left.” He looked to Brit adding, “The one right beside her.”

Ethan watched for a long moment. Songs, chants, and battle sounds mingled. After looking to the paladin and then to his blood-raged self, he closed his eyes whispering. His arms stretched to his sides. She found herself pulled against him because she would not release his hands. The other two figures disappeared. Keeping Brit near, he offered a hand to Steve.

Brit and Steve found themselves in the room surrounded by all who were helping. Ethan’s hair turned black again and his skin started to turn pale again. Working quickly, Nikita cut Brit’s wrist and she dribbled blood again on his lips. The orbs, not meant to pull anyone from torpor, were placed near so Ethan could see them, and the dagger was moved from his chest. Gweneth held her vial containing her Sire’s blood and readied to open her own vein if necessary. Selene tended to Steve and the chorus of Merma, Lorne, and Brid grew louder. Meanwhile, Kishi continued to keep others out of the room.

As the blood trickled into Ethan, his eyelids moved rapidly and fangs appeared in his mouth. A feral growl could be heard coming from his chest. Nikita quickly pushed Brit behind her and placed herself between Ethan and Brit. Lorne pulled Brit on back toward him and Merma, while Nikita ensured Ethan would find the vials. He drained them quickly but then sinks his fangs into Nikita’s throat. Merma moved between Ethan and Brit as the room watched Ethan drink from Nikita. Steve whispered to Ethan to encourage him to calm his inner beast. Ethan seemed to grow more sentient as he looked round the room. Nikita’s eyes looked to Ethan’s. A flash of purple that seemed to glow. “Convince me, Ethan. Convince me you can be near her without danger or you will not be allowed to move off that wall. I made a promise.”

Regaining composure, Ethan gave each person a nod of acknowledgement. To Nikita, he replied, “I was gone and now I’m back.” Pausing, he stood tilting his head to the side as he often does. “I’m her beloved…beloveds do not hurt each other, Nikita.” And with that, Nikita let him near again. The songs ended….and appreciation was given to all…with humble thanks and shelving pride for that moment.

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